Schwarzmalen, Leere and Blue

Schwarzmalen (German) (v) to naysay, to catastrophise
In November 2017 I’ve started to prepare my final project for my degree, collected the pieces, formed them the way I wanted them, photographed and edited. Things happened and I couldn’t go through with it even after all this time and work. I was crushed, I slipped into a hole of negativity and darkness questioning not only my project but my work and myself as an artist. I found no words for how I felt, didn’t know how to describe to my friends what I was going through. My words got lost in translation. 

In German there is a word to describe my feelings, but the expression does not exist in English: ‘SCHWARZMALEN’. When I tried to explain it, I went for the most literal translation ‘drawing black’, but no one really understood. 
I asked myself: why not draw it? 

So I started to paint the objects from my original project black, embracing the negativity, the pessimistic and depressing thoughts that SCHWARZMALEN described. I drew black for over a month, and it was the most creative, emotional and personal project I’ve made to this point.

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"Leere" and "Blue" are follow up works.